You ran in at the sound of screaming, and what you found was a child who looked terrified but didn't respond to your voice, couldn't be comforted, and had no memory of it in the morning. The screaming, the glazed eyes and the thrashing make these some of the most frightening things a parent can watch, especially because every instinct says to step in and nothing works.
Knowing what is happening during these episodes, and what to do, can make them far less frightening to live with.
Being short on sleep is one of the most common triggers. A run of late nights or one unusually late night can make an episode more likely. Illness with a fever, stress (a move, starting school, a big change at home) and an irregular sleep schedule can bring them on too.
Night terrors usually happen in the first third of the night, when sleep is deepest. The most useful thing you can do between episodes is protect your child's sleep with a consistent bedtime, a steady schedule and enough total sleep.
- Stay Close and Keep Them Safe: Stay in the room and move anything they could knock into. Fallback Plan: If they get up, stay beside them and keep the space clear without trying to wake them. Hold Back From Waking or Soothing: Let the episode run its course, even though every instinct says to comfort them. Fallback Plan: If you catch yourself reaching to shake or hold them, step back and keep the room quiet. Say to Yourself: "They're asleep, they aren't aware of this, and they won't remember it." Fallback Plan: If it's hard to watch, sit down nearby and breathe slowly until it passes.
A common mistake is trying to hold, soothe or talk your child out of it. They are asleep and can't take in the comfort, and it can make the episode last longer.
Another pitfall is trying to wake them up abruptly. This can lead to increased confusion and prolong the terror. Allow the episode to pass while keeping them safe.
As a parent, watching a night terror can bring on panic or helplessness. It helps to remind yourself that while your child looks distressed, they aren't aware of what is happening and won't remember it. Take slow breaths and stay calm and close. If anything about your child's sleep or health worries you, your pediatrician is the right person to ask.
Knowing what to do during an episode can take some of the fear out of it. Patterns across nights, in timing, sleep and stress, often point to what's feeding them.
- Do the episodes tend to happen at about the same time each night?
- Has your child been short on sleep lately, from late nights, a dropped nap or a packed schedule?
- Has anything stressful happened recently, like a move, a new school or tension at home?
- During an episode, do you try to wake or hold your child, or stay close and wait it out?
- During an episode, does your child stay in bed, or get up and move around the room or the house?
Talk it through with Funke Afolabi-Brown's guidance
Bring what the nights have been like lately, and what the days before them looked like. You'll get help planning how to stay steady during an episode, what to tell siblings or a babysitter and what to change in the schedule if the episodes keep coming, grounded in Funke Afolabi-Brown's authorized content.
- “My 4-year-old screams and thrashes about an hour after bedtime and doesn't remember it. What should I do while it's happening?”
- “I've been going in to hold her and it seems to make it last longer. What should I do instead?”
- “His little sister shares his room and gets scared when it happens. What do I tell her?”
What if a night terror happens at a sleepover or at grandma's?
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🔒 Your conversations are never read by a person · Built on trusted expert guidanceFrequently Asked Questions
They can show up in younger children, but they are most common in preschool and school-age children.
During a night terror your child is still asleep and won't remember it in the morning. A nightmare usually wakes a child up, and they can often tell you about the bad dream and want comfort.
Establishing a consistent bedtime routine, ensuring sufficient sleep, and managing stress can help reduce the frequency of night terrors.